New Album: "My Joke is Ruining Your Joke"

The new album is finished (no artwork yet), but please download it. It's the best record we've ever made.

the mp3 version -
http://www.tinyurl.com/mmds2009mp3

the flac version -
http://www.tinyurl.com/mmds2009flac

(if you don't know, which one you want, you want the mp3s)

Get the lyrics here. Yeah, it's a text file.

We needs that crunch.

Having done hours of research today, it looks like I want a low cost, rackmount 12bit sampler, most likely an Akai s900. Something late 80s/early 90s, but that doesn't use some insane and obsolete storage format (like QuikDisk - ha!). S950s are better, but have scsi outs and are more upgradeable = too expensive.



The other (even cheaper, and in some ways cooler) option is a Roland S550. It's the rack version of the S-50. They're extra cool, because you can hook them up to a monitor or TV and program and edit with a mouse. They're super cheap (this one is $100, shipped!). Since I don't need to take sounds from the computer and dump them to a sampler, and I don't need to make hip-hop music with an MPC style interface, I don't need to spend $1000 on a digital production unit. Basically either one of these is just a super advanced Casio SK-1. I don't really need one, but having spent several hours looking at them, I might as well buy one.

My real plan is to take a look at what sampler software I have in storage from 10 years ago and just buy one of those.

Now we are unstoppable.

The Ft. Worth Guitar Show once again delivers! Our friend Rod told me about this blue Mystic he had at the Dallas show back in May, so he brought it with him. It's not in quite as good shape as my red-orange Mystic, but it was only $150. I now need to purchase white, silver and metallic red Mystics for my collection to be complete. I've also got a line on a white Peavey Mantis. Then I need a Razer and then it's on to one of every American Peavey manufactured before 1986. Let me know if you've got something you want to sell me.

Circuit Bent Walkman/Drum Machine/Tape Sampler

I've had this broken old walkman (or portable cassette player) lying around for ages (I paid $1 for it at an estate sale two years ago). I've added three pots for varying levels of speed control. The one on the left is the master speed, the top left is double speed and fine adjust and the top right is 1/2 speed and fine adjust. See that grey wire running across the middle? That's an awesome bass boost I added. This hits so hard now, you wouldn't believe it.

The Big Idea here is as follows: you take a cassette tape with a length of drum sample on it. You then press play on the deck and adjust the speed to the desired tempo. If you're super cool, you'll turn the speed of your drum machine all the way, then cut the the speed by half. What happens? Oh no! Your casio is now rattling the dinner plates.

Controlling the Gakken SX-150

For a while now, I've been trying to figure out how to achieve more control over my Gakken synth without spending a fortune. Sure, I could go the midi controller route, but a c/v to midi kit is $50. I'd read some stuff online about making ribbon controllers so I thought I'd take a shot at it. You know that I'm lazy and don't like carefully executing well planned out projects, so it's no surprise that the end result is less than professional.

What you will need for this project:
a cardboard box or a 3 foot piece of wood
double stick tape
four alligator clip leads
regular point tip test lead
a sharpie
a chromatic guitar tuner
an old data backup tape/pro-grade vhs tape/dat tape

Cut the flaps off the box and fold it down into a strip (or just find a 3 foot piece of cardboard). Run the double stick tape down the middle of the cardboard. Crack open the tape case and pull out about 50% more than the length of the cardboard. Stick the magnetic tape (dull side up) on the length of the sticky tape. Place the clips on each end of the tape (now stuck to the cardboard). Unscrew the two leads from the Gakken's carbon strip [the thing you play it with]. Clip each lead to the respective ends of the cardboard. Using the extra clip leads and test lead, extend the Gakken's stylus so you can reach the cardboard strip. You can now play the gakken by touching the stylus to the strip of mag tape. Look how much more range you have!

Now comes the tedious part. Hook the tuner up to the output on the gakken. Touch the lower left end of the mag strip with the stylus and look at the note it produces. It may be so low that it's silent. Move the stylus to the right until you get a low C. Mark it with a line and the note. Now keep going right and marking every half step. At some point (probably about 3/4 of the way up) the notes will be so high that you probably won't even want to play them. I can't guarantee the scale will be the same for everyone - different brands and grades of tape will have different levels of resistance. I couldn't be more pleased about the outcome of this project. Instead of spending $50.00 - I spend maybe $0.05 - if you include the sharpie I used.

So congrats, your tiny monophonic analog synth is now actually playable. Bueno, no?

Electro Harmonix Drum Machine

I traded off two cheap Teisco Del Rays that I'd been carrying around to shows for a while for this GOD of a drum machine. Built in 1978, this little fucker destroys with it's built in patterns. It has a dedicated BASS DRUM output. Hmmm... that means it could have a dedicated out for each instrument. After much searching I found the schematics on a German website - oh yeah, I can definitely get a separate out for each. But I don't want to drill more holes in the case. My plan? A 5 pin DIN jack in place of the current OUTPUT 2 jack. Then a DIN to five female 1/4" squid cable for the breakout. I'm also pretty sure that I might be able to bend it by adding some pots in place of the resistors after the IC chip. I'll keep you posted.

Check the sounds straight out of it:

Discover Simple, Private Sharing at Drop.io

You know we love drum machines.

So having been a longtime fan of Audio Playground's Virtual Drum Machine Museum, I'm always into checking out new online drum modules. Enter the n00b on the nettubes: Hobnox Audiotool. It's German, it's flash-based, it sounds awesome and it's new favorite timewaster. It features a 909, an 808, a 303 and a ton of effects. It's all point and click, it's easy enough for a kid to use but poweruser enough to keep me interested. It would be an amazing way to teach signal path and effects chains to school children (or adults, most of whom don't seem to understand it).

I'd especially like to try it on a large 32" touchscreen. It will be nice to see how they develop it and what other features they add. I think a lot of users would be willing to pay for extra modules (other drum machines/synths/samplers - i'm thinking MPC) and you can't save your sessions (though you can record and upload your mixes).

I think this is an awesome (and free!) alternative to VST plugins for your average person. It's simple, unpretentious, accessible and it doesn't cost $1000. Check out the Stereo Detune and Bitcrush effects plugins. They're neat.